First Day

Day 1 of the battle. I don’t know how I feel. The world is such a miss right now. I feel very sad about it all and tired.

December 4 2023

Moving right along is the year 2023.   As we approach Christmas nothing seems to have changed.  There is a war in the middle east.  There are homeless people, poor, sickness (the Covid 19 is still taking lives of those over 65) Ukraine is  fighting for its freedom, the United States is crazier then ever before.  There continues to be family feuds, racism, hatred and anger.   It is all quite depressing actually.   Why do we do this each year?   Why do we sing Christmas carols, give presents and feast?  What drives the human race to do this?  As you can see I am having an existential crisis this year.  The CNN v. the Hallmark Christmas Channel.  I am so confused?   I am sure I am not the only one.  

Below is a text box that looks like a present.  See if I can feel the present with the meaning of Christmas for me this year.

July was so hot.

 It has been a hot summer.  One of the hottest days was July 19, the last time I saw Mary Catherine.  I am still numb I think.  I can't focus for very long.  My mind can't sit still.  My overthinking is on overdrive. I just can't focus even though I have so much important things and so little time.  I picture my mind as a dragon out of my control.   I am just a jumbled mess.

RDF

 Rain Drizzle and Fog can really put a downer on a Friday.  I have so much to do and again my complaint is motivation. 😧😩💥😶

Thought of the day:

 

The cause of arguments and fights is a lack of mutual, empathic understanding. When empathy is not engaged, then people revert to a self-protective mode and become judgmental. The result is a bad feeling on both sides and no happy ending. Here is how empathy so commonly gets bypassed.Jun 16, 2018

The Number One Cause of Arguments and Fight

https://www.psychologytoday.com/

 February 16 – At the End of Our Exploring

Simple Abundance; A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban breathnach,1995.

 

We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive were we started

And know the place for the first time.

        -      T.S. Eliot

 

When we live our lives authentically, we discover our true place in the world for the first time.  But this self-knowledge is not easily acquired. It takes tenacity and daring to travel to the darkest interior of one’s self.  Who knows what we might find there? “It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” The writer J.R.R. Tolkien advises.

Our dragons are our fears; our day stalkers, our night sweats.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of failing.  Fear of starting something new and not finishing.  Again. Or the real fear, the one that sends shivers up our spines; the fear of succeeding, of becoming our authentic selves and facing the changes that will inevitable bring. We might not be happy with the way we are living now, but at least it’s safely familiar.

We don’t know where we are headed and it’s very scary.  Old dreams are resurrecting, new desires are wooing.  Instead of clarify, we feel confused.  At moments like this, it is comforting to consider T.S. Eliot’s belief that there is really nothing to fear from self-awareness because at the end of it all our personal exploration, we will arrive back where we started and know in our hearts that we finally belong there.

Women have always known how to deal with dragons hiding under beds or lurking in closets. We turn on the lights and reassure worried souls with love.  We need to slay the dragons in our minds the same way. 

Today, if you feel frightened or unsure about the future, pick up the double-edged sword of Light and Love.  Always remember, it’s simply not an adventure worth telling if there aren’t any dragons.  But as in the best old tales, at the end of your exploring, you will live happily ever after.

 

September 2022
It has been over two months.... and I am more in love with retirement then I was when it started.  I can never go back to the grind of 9 to 5.  So I have my fall planned out with more NIGS courses,  genealogy work, crafts and writing.  This will continue to be my drafting blog.  News maker this week was Hurricane Fiona and its devastation of the south west coast. Finds:  I found two courses on Domestika that look fun and will concentrate on getting them done this week.  So much to do.... oh my. 

My favorite software app is called Waterlogue.  It converts pictures in to water colour style images.   My favorite music these days is Chopin.