Well this is it.   This is time.  Not always sure where I'm going but moving along the path.  I yearn for meaning.  For a clear path without self doubt, second guessing.  I am split in so many directions and my energy is split as well.   Don't have the energy to pursue -- I'm having the "I'll get to it someday" blues.  But what if it is too late.  What if I don't succeed.  What if I finally find what I'm looking for and time has run out.  Does any of this make sense.  I am split between, "I'm too tired to care."  and "I am afraid I'll miss something important."  I am confused.  So much I want to do... but stalled somehow.  Or is is just an excuse... am I fooling myself.   Maybe there is only dreams -- fantastical unrealistic dreams.  Here I go around that bend again -- this evaluation of what I want in my future -- but not actually doing anything about it.   Or is the change so slow that I can't even detect that it is happening.  Am I crawling towards something? Do I have barriers or is it all my imagination.